All posts by Who's Who in Kenya

Online satire as Kenyans on Twitter welcome Raila back

Nairobi – Just two days before opposition leader, Raila Odinga returns to the country from his US trip, Kenyans have taken to twitter to report on what happened in the country while the former PM was away.

Here is some of the humour posted on twitter:

@Kinara45: #BabaWhileYouWereAway Yaya Toure turned 31 while his younger brother turned 38 in West Africa

@GKiburu: #BabaWhileYouWereAway they wanted to sack #LindaOkello from the Police for her God given talent.

@Odongoism: #BabaWhileYouWereAway policewomen from Kiambu police station gracefully adopted AROMAT to have a bright future behind like #LindaOkello

@Mbaemaureen: #BabaWhileYouWereAway Maggie went to London, Uhuru felt lonely and signed the marriage Bill”

@kabayakari: #Babawhileyouwereaway they introduced fake holiday incentives and failed to mention most kenyans dont qualify !

@RobertAlai: #BabaWhileYouWereAway Duale said Eastleigh should not be bombed instead they should bomb Machakos.

@Ulopa_ : #BabaWhileYouWereAway vera sidika removed the tint

@RMulomba: #Babawhileyouwereaway first lady went to London marathon…the president felt very lonely and signed the marriage bill”

@JateloSpensir: #BabaWhileYouWereAway @AGMuigai became a mortician and Amos Wako a surgeon

@StephenAnanda : #BabaWhileYouWereAway Sauti Soul wanted to be Shikwad! Not nice baba…not nice!

@Abduladhan1: #BabaWhileYouWereAway Ole Lenku and Kimayo rounded up all somalis and took them to Kasarani Camp

@fokango: #BabaWhileYouWereAway  Kalonzo  was a star with medals  and names betrayed  journalists

@mathuinicholas: #babawhileyouwereaway joho’s certificate became legit

@BMGitz: #BabaWhileYouWereAway size8 took it to another level

@rodgers_kirwa: #BabaWhileYouWereAway Makaburi was killed by poachers

@rewajohn: #babawhileyouwereaway “countryman” claimed several countrymen/potential voters.

@Oskwama: #‎Babawhileyouwereaway? they sold us to the Chinese. I’m no longer Ochieng, I’m now O Chi Yeng <<<For tears!!!

By News24 Kenya http://www.news24.co.ke/Politics/Online-satire-as-Kenyans-on-Twitter-welcome-Raila-back-20140528

3 Ways to Get More Respect in the Office

Nearly every time someone says the word “respect,” a few things come to mind—namely Aretha Franklin and Rodney Dangerfield. What rarely comes to mind—but always should—is workplace relationships. Respect among colleagues is a powerful connection, and without it, things can get pretty difficult (not to mention miserable).

So, what do you do if you, as Mr. Dangerfield used to say, “can’t get no respect” in the office? If you’re feeling like you’re not getting the appreciation (or assignments) you deserve, try these tips.

1. Build a Reputation

Whether it’s with clients, vendors, or colleagues, your reputation will always precede you, and working hard to build a great one is a surefire way to earn respect in the office. After all, we all know respect is something that’s earned.

Several years ago, I worked on a small team in a small office. Each of us mostly worked independently, so it was sometimes difficult to get a sense for what each person was working on, let alone how hard they were working. This was especially the case when we had someone new join the team—we’ll call him Bob.

Bob recognized immediately that it was important to establish respect within the team, but because none of us worked directly with one another, he had to go about it a bit differently. Fortunately, Bob was a rock star at his job, and by treating clients, business partners, vendors, and colleagues professionally and with respect, word soon got around that Bob was the cat’s pajamas. Bob never had to say a word about it—but rave reviews from everyone who interacted with him showed the rest of the team he was pulling his weight. As a result, he quickly won us all over.

It’s hard to ignore results, and when you’re striving for the respect of your colleagues, one of the best things you can do is show you’ve got the right stuff. Soon, you’ll find you have the respect you’ve earned.

2. Make Allies

Even if you’re doing everything right, there may sometimes be colleagues who seem impossible to win over. And when you just can’t seem to get an ounce of respect from a particular colleague—or colleagues—it’s time to call in cavalry.

Several years ago, when I worked for a large bank, a new woman—we’ll call her Sally—joined the marketing department. She was young and lacked the years of experience held by the rest of the team, which automatically gave her a bit to prove. From the start, my manager had his doubts about Sally’s abilities. Whether it was by dismissing her ideas in front of the team or just excluding her from meetings completely, our boss made it clear he didn’t respect our newest employee.

While it would’ve been easy for Sally to feel singled out, she decided to fight back. And, by fight back, I mean she started to make friends. When Sally realized my boss would be hard to win over, she went to work on the rest of us. Before long, she’d proven to the entire team she was not only capable, but a great asset and someone we could—and did—depend on. After a few months, Sally had an entire department of allies on her side, which made it much harder for our boss to ignore her contributions. It took a while, but after several months our boss eventually realized he hadn’t given Sally a fair shake. And he ended up respecting her so much more because he realized she had proved herself in such a mature, professional way.

You may not always have the chance to win over a doubting colleague, but chances are, you’ll have a shot at impressing others in the office. Start by wowing the pants off everyone else, and your reluctant co-worker will soon follow suit.

3. Look For Probable Cause

It’s not easy to admit, but sometimes the lack of respect you’re receiving in the office, justified or not, has something to do with your behavior in the office (or when you’re off the clock). Just because you’re doing stellar work and have an army of supporters behind you, doesn’t mean no one will notice when you’re habitually late orhad a few too many at last month’s company happy hour.

Take one of my old employees from a few years back. He was a fantastic worker—when he actually made it into the office. For whatever reason, he just couldn’t get it together, was late every morning, and managed to have a different excuse each day.

After I had a chat with him about the issue and he still didn’t change his ways, I quickly lost respect for him as an employee. To me, the fact he had so little respect for the company’s hours of operation or his fellow colleagues who did manage to make it in on time every day meant I couldn’t rely on—or respect—him. Although he did great work, I stopped trusting him with any major projects or deadlines.

Doing great work in the office is obviously a step in the right direction toward winning the respect of your colleagues, but all that hard work can easily be overlooked if you’re not minding your actions before and after you’re on the clock.

I wish earning respect in the office was as easy as just spelling it out, Aretha-style, but the reality is, sometimes you’re going to have to fight a little harder to get your “profits” when you get to the office. But, follow these tips, and soon you’ll find you don’t need to ask for respect in the office, because you’ve earned it.

By Jennifer Winter

7 Things to Remove From Your Resume ASAP

Article by Jenny Foss

We all talk a fair game about what needs to be on your resume, but there’s also plenty of stuff that should be removed. The fluff. The blabber. The full-on oddities. And even some of the details you think are important.

Here’s the thing: If you want a shot at grabbing your target audience and showing them what you’re made of, every section of your resume needs to be thoughtfully constructed, and every word carefully placed.

So, let’s all get out our big red markers; we’re going to start marking that baby up. Here are seven things that you absolutely must drop-kick from your resume.

 

1. An Objective

The vast majority of objectives say nothing. Oh, so you’re seeking a challenging position with a growing corporation that will allow you to make a positive contribution, are you? How groundbreaking.

Instead

Craft an executive summary or “Who I Am” section that showcases your overarching value proposition (or, as I call it, your “So what?”) and speaks directly to the stuff you know the target audience is going to care the most about. This is your chance to make it clear you’re a strong fit.

 

2. Weird or Potentially Polarizing Interests.

Do you practice witchcraft, preside over your local gun club, or spend endless hours practicing your extraordinary mime routine? Terrific. But unless you are applying for jobs that will specifically value these interests (or they’re flat-out amazing conversation starters), leave them off. Decision makers will judge the heck out of you if they spot hobbies that fly in the face of their own personal beliefs or seem odd.

Instead

Include interests only if you feel they support your overall professional message and brand. If you’re a dietician who maintains a recipe blog for fun, yes. If you’re an accountant who enjoys photographing people’s feet, absolutely not.

 

3. Third-Person Voice.

The fastest way to sound like a pompous goof is to construct your resume in the third person—à la “John raised more than $70,000 for the organization.” Every single time I read a resume in which the author does this, all I can think of is someone sitting around in a smoking jacket, with a pipe, pontificating on and on about himself. Don’t do it.

Instead

When you write a resume, your name and contact information are at the top of the page. For this reason alone, the receiver will most assuredly deduce that the document he or she is receiving was, indeed, from you. So write the resume in the first person, minus the pronouns (e.g., “Raised more than $70,000”).

 

4. An Email Address From Your Current Employer

Nothing says, “I job search on company time” quite like using your current work email address on a resume. Unless you own the company, it’s poor form to run your job search through your company’s email system.

Instead

Easy–use your personal email for all job search business. And, ideally, your own time.

 

5. Unnecessarily Big Words

Why “utilize” when you can “use?” Why “append” when you can “add?” It’s not “analogous;” it’s really just “similar.” Using non-conversational words doesn’t make you look smart; it makes you look like someone who spends too much time in a thesaurus.

Instead

Run the “would I ever say this in real life?” test on every phrase and sentence in your resume. If you find words or statements that don’t read like something you’d say? Change ’em up.

 

6. Tiny, Unimportant Jobs From 15+ Years Ago

Your resume is not an autobiography of every job you’ve held since you graduated; it’s a marketing document. So, unless something you did more than 12-15 years ago is vital for your target audience to know about, you don’t need to list the entry-level job or internship you held in 1994. It’s totally OK to leave some of the life history off.

Instead

For each former job, think about what you did or achieved that will be required (or will hold significant value) in your next role. Showcase only that stuff. If your first job out of college does nothing to support this overall message? It’s probably not needed.

 

7. Lies

If you’d like me to, I’ll launch into the story about the field engineer I worked with who was this close to landing a great job—until the employer conducted a degree verification and discovered that, while he’d taken courses at that university, he didn’t graduate. The kicker? He didn’t even need a degree to qualify for that job. But because he got caught in a lie, he didn’t get it.

Instead

Strategize. (In this case, I would have suggested that this engineer load his education section with professional development courses and certifications, which would have made an equally great impact.) Whatever you do, do not lie.

Editing a resume can be tough. People tend to be quite attached to the things they’ve done or accomplished professionally, and passionate about their outside interests. But the bottom line is this: You need to have everything working for you on your resume. Be brutally objective, cut the fat, and for goodness’ sake, leave off all details of your vast collection of clown figures.